Monday, March 17, 2008

A bit of a mid-twenties crisis

Listening to:
伴都美子
VOICE 2 ~cover lovers rock~

If there's one thing that I haven't been having problems with lately, it's falling asleep. I wouldn't go as far at to call it a perk, but it's kind of a nice change of pace to not roll around in bed for an hour before finally knocking out. Unfortunately, I've also been nodding off whenever I try to settle into any kind of a leisure activity. There was a point in time when I considered sleep to be a hobby of sorts, but I like to think that I've since outgrown that somewhat teenage, grade school-ish method of thought. Regardless, I imagine that I'm falling asleep during my free time primarily because all of my hobbies revolve around me sitting in a chair and staring into a monitor of some shape or form. It's not that I necessarily need video games, anime, Rob & Big, or anything of the sort, but rather that I currently lack the motivation to simply get out and do something different. It's not that I'm still habitually lazy at 24; I've been channeling that type of positive energy and drive into the other areas of my life (hopefully to a certain degree of success), and isn't that all that really matters? The thing about hobbies is that I've conditioned myself to think that they should indubitably be fun, easy, and convenient, when that's not always necessarily true. After all, why challenge yourself during your free time when you're already challenging yourself during all of the day's working hours? There's the fairly obvious "to better oneself" answer that most outwardly accept and never really live by, but I have to honestly say that sometimes I just feel like being lazy when I can spare a moment to do so. Say what you will, but it takes time to drive to the beach, it takes dedication to learn a new instrument, and it takes money, really, to do anything. Not to say that any of the above are insurmountable obstacles by any means, but simply that my perceived inability to try new and different things is an issue that can be traced back to my understanding of the term "hobby" and what it should entail. Nevertheless, I can't help but feel that maybe I've been using my jobs and my frequent obligations to my family as an excuse to be a glorified couch potato whenever the opportunity presents itself. As such, I've decided that I'm going to try and do more of the things that I've always felt that I wanted to do, regardless of whether or not they are humanly possible within the confines of my schedule.

1 comment:

C K Okada said...

not that i know anything about a real job or working situation, but that's what it looks like for everyone who has a full-time job and other unavoidable obligations - they veg on their off time. but watch out, i think that'll eventually lead to "letting go of oneself" so you'd best get out and about now while we're young.