Simpler Times

For whatever reason, I was perusing my old xanga blog the other day, and it really took me back. Don't get me wrong, I honestly don't miss xanga in the least, but I do miss a lot of the banter that when on between the boys back then. Just for kicks, I've taken the liberty of reposting a bunch of the golden nuggets that made me chuckle. A lot of the stuff is even funnier when taken out of context (and of course there's anything that R says, which doesn't make sense in any context).

LOL what if one day we were just at taco bell eating then all of a sudden onofre got up and starting kicking some guys ass. i wouldnt even spill my fruit punch.
-mike

i almost ran over Julian Sensley. that guy needs to learn how to use the crosswalk.
-me

We should go on a road trip this summer with a 10 lb. bag of trail mix, cause trail mix is a DEADLY WEAPON. When the shit goes down, you just pull out the mix- nothing is quite as devastating as that yummy blend of NUTS and RAISINS.
-me (shortly after watching the bonus video on the Rufio EP)

lol look linus said he loves boys
-mike

man, go to france or something. yeah, i'm sure you could get the money some how. idk, do what seta did for the band in high school, sell m&ms and stuff.
-onofre

Needless to say, I kicked that envelope's ass.
-me

white people think japanese are only good with numbers and not words. what morans~
-mike

yeah, someone assumed I was chinese cuz I told her my name is Ono. wat a fucking bitch.
-onofre

i think i'll also try driving around naked like chance. that seems like a good time.
-me

why is mikes page rated 18 and over. I can't go to his site.
-linus

It's kinda funny that the recording that plays when you call up Boost Mobile customer care is a black dude's voice. I half expected a Ludacris song to start playing when I got put on hold.
-me

man, i'd punch chance if he made me miss senses fail.
-onofre

Ok...I've been wondering about this for a while, but do you have to be a shitty driver to become a Costco member?
-me

speaking of gay, i did see you and chance order tortillas in a spinach dip once.
-mike

i took four straight classes once. it was the worst decision of my life. my stomach went crazy by the fourth one.
-onofre

If I don't shave for a few days, I've noticed that I begin to look sort of like Adam Morrison.
-me

subwoofers are fun. so are robots.
-mike

woah...is that girl in the game...geez.....that skirt is pretty short....all she has to do is stretch or pick up a pencil or something and its over!
-onofre (upon seeing a picture of Rikku in FFX-2)

like this |____| close or like |__| close?
-mike

Not to say that I'm stupid necessarily...just stupid during exams.
-me

AM all nighters are ex post facto claims for calling justifiability to next-day exhaustion.
-mike

i told you not to watch that shitty ass movie. it was the "king kong" of 1998. but at least king kong starred naomi watts.
-mike

King Kong also had that entire bug-sequence with the fucking 12 foot centipede.
-onofre

I knocked the fuck out on my doorstep and I think Ashtray came by and ate my taco while I was sleeping.
-me

Hello Kitty toaster. HER FACE IS BRANDED ONTO THE FUCKING TOAST. It's the bomb, baby.
-me

die scum
-mike (upon learning that I was feeling sick)

You'd be surprised how many times I try to crawl into that plastic tunnel of the play pen like at Burger King and get stuck cuz I'm too big.
-J

apparently she hasn't divulged her sex life to you yet. believe me, i was scarred for life.
-cr8

the other day some random guy tried to hit me with an egg while i was walking home. he was in a car passing by and missed me by a couple of feet.
-linus

what a frickin' waste of protein
-cr8 (in response to above news of linus being assaulted by egg)

Fermp!
-R

bing!
-R

ill have to go with the no panties.
-R

Eat pizza!
-R

You need something more powerful. Like Shaka Zulu
-R

You like dags tommy?
Dags, you like dags?
Dags, tommy dags!
How'bout mi caraven
-R

let's form a study group... that involves medicinal marijuana, of course
-mike

I always see the phoenix on your xanga and just now I thought of charles barkley and his shoes. remember those? those were sooo nice. i never had a pair though, only my sister. I had instead my fucking smooth british knights.
-onofre

"I had instead my fucking smooth british knights." Such a sick quote. If I ever write a movie script, that bad boy is definitely going to be in it.