Wrestlemania XXVIII

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan (YES! YES! YES!) vs Sheamus

This is redemption for these two guys after their US Title match got axed from last year's Wrestlemania. Sheamus kicks Bryan in the face to win the title in like 5 seconds. Okay. I understand that Vince can be a little out of touch with the fans from time to time, but did it not occur to him that some people may have bought tickets to Wrestlemania to see arguably the best wrestler in the world actually, you know, wrestle? Not doing anything for supposed babyface tough guy Sheamus either, as he apparently has to cheapshot his unsuspecting opponent to win the title.

Randy Orton vs Kane

Why not make this thing 5 seconds? Michael Cole keeps calling Orton's elevated DDT a "bulldog" which is annoying. Nothing much of note happens until Kane finishes Orton with a chokeslam off of the middle rope. Odd booking decision there. Kane bores me now, which is weird because I was really into his last run as World Champ.

Santino is eating crab legs backstage with Mick Foley and some guy from some fishing television show (I assume). This segment is not going well. Thankfully, Ron Simmons shows up and DAMNs a plate of crab right out of Santino's hands.



Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs Big Show

Apparently they're feuding because Rhodes has pointed out that Show always loses at Wrestlemania. I guess you could call him the anti-Undertaker. Not much going on here either. Finish looked like it was supposed to be Show spearing Cody out of the air, but Show ends up shoulderblocking Rhodes right in the nuts. They should seriously redo the disfigured gimmick with Cody going around with an athletic cup.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix and Eve

Man, this show is off to a slow start. I've always wondered, does Kelly Kelly sing her own entrance theme? It's annoying as fuck. Let me also say that I have no idea who Maria Menounos is. Kelly Kelly actually breaks out the Molly-Go-Round at one point, which she should totally use as her finisher. In case anyone is keeping track, there has been an audible "Daniel Bryan" chant from the crowd at some point during every match so far. Menounos gets the pin with a rollup. Fine for a divas match, which isn't saying a whole lot nowadays.

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs HHH

Now we're talking. Jim Ross comes down first. Then Shawn Michaels. Then HHH. Then Taker. Then the cage gets its own entrance music. Sheesh, no wonder they had no time for Bryan/Sheamus. Not much in terms of a wrestling exhibition, but as a dramatic brawl with the theatrics turned up full blast, this one hits all the right notes. Not surprisingly, Shawn almost steals the show as the conflicted referee, torn between doing the right thing or helping his best friend. There's one fantastic Sweet Chin Music/Pedigree combo that I almost bought as a finish there, which is saying a lot since it's pretty much common knowledge that HHH had no shot at winning here. Nice little throwback to the second Taker/Shawn match, as HHH uses the last of his energy to crotch chop Taker before eating a Tombstone. This would be the fourth straight Mania classic from Undertaker, which is quite the impressive run.



They bring out the Hall of Fame inductees for a round of applause. Isn't Flair still under TNA contract? Edge looks strange without the long hair. Gotta say though, his Alter Bridge entrance music is still one of the greatest themes ever.

Team Johnny vs Team Teddy

Well. I'm glad they managed to get everyone into some match without Money in the Bank. Dolph Ziggler is wasted here. And indeed, the only thing that gets any sort of real reaction out of the crowd is Ziggler taking an insane face-fist somersault bump off of a monkey flip. Seriously, the dude sells a monkey flip like he just got pounced by Monty Brown and hit with Stan Hansen's lariat in conjunction. Anyway. Zack Ryder looks to have the match won, but Eve distracts him, allowing Miz to connect with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin. And since that apparently isn't enough, Eve kicks Ryder in the nuts after the match. Well. I'd say that effectively sums up their relationship. And Zack Ryder's last 3 months or so.

RAW World Title: CM Punk vs Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho's jacket is fantastic. If that thing were on WWE.com, I'd certainly purchase one. At one point Cole is surprised that Punk kicks out of the Lionsault, but I think it's been like a decade since anyone's ever lost to the Lionsault. Surprisingly kind of a slow match at first, but things pick up towards the end when they start trading submissions. Jericho actually alternates between the Liontamer and the Walls of Jericho, which is a really cool touch.



He should seriously try to get both holds over as two distinctive submission moves. Sick finish with Punk countering the Walls into the Anaconda Vice. Great match, as you'd expect from these two.

Brodus Clay is here to dance. He actually brings out his dancing mother, which is about as weird as it sounds. Fun fact: Brodus Clay's entrance music was actually Ernest "The Cat" Miller's theme during his brief WWE run.



The Rock vs John Cena

The build for this match has literally been over a year long, which is pretty unheard of nowadays. There's some stuff with MGK and Flo Rida before the match, but we'll just pretend that didn't happen. Cena comes out rocking a green Celtics-inspired shirt and cap. Yeah, we get it, he's from Boston. Massive pop for the Rock, obviously. The match wasn't quite up to the lofty standards of pre-Hollywood Rock, but pretty darn good for a guy working his first singles match in nearly a decade.



I didn't think it was possible, but I think Rock's Sharpshooters are actually getting worse over time. Cena gets his beast-mode spot of the evening by rolling through Rock's top rope crossbody seamlessly into the Attitude Adjustment. Damn. When that doesn't get the job done, he makes the mistake of trying the People's Elbow, which allows Rock to pop up and hit the Rock Bottom for the pin. Not the guy I would have put over, but I guess they're expecting Rock back at some point before next year's Wrestlemania.

Slow out of the gates, but a pretty good show overall. The Daniel Bryan/Sheamus mess was a big misstep, but they may have inadvertently turned Bryan into a bigger star as a result. Worth checking out for Punk/Jericho, Rock/Cena, and Taker/HHH.

WM Weekend

The card is looking fantastic and with rumors of Big Dave and Brock Lesnar in town, it's sure to be an eventful Mania. I'll try and track the show down and have some thoughts up by midweek.

Survivor Series 2011

About a week late, but I tracked this puppy down after hearing positive things about it. Of course, this year's Survivor Series is notable because it features the Rock in his first in-ring action in roughly 7 years. This show also apparently marks the 10th anniversary of John Laurinaitis' tenure with the company. Michael Cole: "ALLRIIIIGHT!" I guess he's a fan of John Laurinaitis? We kick things off with Zig-Zag Man (as Booker T likes to call him) and the soon to be released John Morrison.

United States Title: Dolph Ziggler vs John Morrison

A pretty massive "We want Ryder!" chant from the fans to start. The crowd boos everything that Morrisson does - because he isn't Zack Ryder, I guess - but he gets some cheers after whipping out a corkscrew plancha. Vickie Guerrero drops by to scream incomprehensibly at Morrison. John: "Hey, stay away from me!" Not sure if he was breaking character there or not. Ziggler eventually takes over and begins toying around with Morrison. Vickie: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Morrison makes the comeback with the Moonlight Drive, which is apparently just a "neckbreaker" now. Vickie gets sent to the back for getting a little too involved, and she is not happy. To say the least. The boys go into a slick pinfall reversal sequence that ends with Ziggler getting a sweet Fame-Asser for a close 2. Yes, Ziggler is so awesome that he can even make Billy Gunn's moves look good. Dolph eventually gets the 3 after blocking Starship Pain and hitting the Zig-Zag. Hot opener. It's pretty crazy how good Dolph Ziggler is getting. He would go on to tear the house down with CM Punk the next night on RAW, and have another good outing with Randy Orton a week later.

Crowd still wants Ryder, and indeed, he shows up to a pretty massive pop. He hits the Rough Ryder, which Dolph sells by flipping completely over and flying out of the ring.

Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix vs Eve

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Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Hunico, & Cody Rhodes vs Sheamus, Sin Cara, Kofi Kingston, Mason Ryan, & Randy Orton

Hunico is now dressed exactly like Homicide. If you're a wrestler of Mexican origin, I guess you have to be either lucha or gangster. Cody Rhodes gets a pretty big pop despite being a heel, probably because he rules. Sweet retro IC title, too. You know, I'm pretty sure I once watched a porn that featured Sin Cara's music. Just saying. This Mason Ryan guy can't be real. He has more muscles than a Ninja Turtle. Or a Rob Liefeld illustration. I kid you not, this is the look on Jack Swagger's face as Mason Ryan makes his entrance:



Ziggler takes an RKO and is eliminated first, which is understandable since he's pulling double duty tonight. Match breaks down and Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston do stereo dives to the floor. Well, they do in theory, except that Sin Cara somehow injures himself mid-air and manages to eliminate himself from the match. As advertised before his debut, Sin Cara is indeed amazing, albeit for all the wrong reasons. No idea what happened there. Note: there was much speculation following the show in regards to how Cara could have possibly injured himself so severely on that dive, but most have come to an agreement that this official WWE Sin Cara t-shirt best explains what went awry.



Yes, Sin Cara's MASSIVE ERECTION got caught in the ropes, which is why he's now out of action for 9 months. Get well soon, Sin Cara. And yes, that is an actual t-shirt that was apparently very close to being sold at WWE events worldwide. I guess someone with eyeballs managed to spot the GIANT PENIS on the design before it went into mass production.

Things come to a halt momentarily, as everyone regroups and tries to figure out what to do since Sin Cara has legitimately injured himself. Mason Ryan tosses Hunico around for a bit, but Cody eliminates him with the Beautiful Disaster and the Cross Rhodes. Crowd chants for Cody after that. Smart people. Speaking of Cody, he has kneepads now. Odd. Did he sell his mask and purchase those? Kofi goes next after getting hit with Barrett's Wasteland. I like Barrett, but his finisher is still pretty lame. Now Sheamus comes in, and he's incredibly angry. Perhaps because Sin Cara has more size than he does, but more likely because his Survivor Series team sucks. He starts killing cats and ends up getting disqualified for kicking too much ass. Well, I suppose that's one way to eliminate the guy without having him eat a pin. Sheamus takes out Swagger with the pump kick on his way out, which allows Orton to make it 3 vs 1. So we have Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, and Hunico. One of these things is not like the other. Hunico apparently senses this, so he busts out a Springboard-Diving-Face-Into-Your-RKO on Orton. Glad he can take a hint. Hey, now that standard Sin Cara is on the shelf for a while, would it hurt to put the mask on Hunico and bring back Sin Cara Negro? He was actually pretty badass. Anyway, Orton holds his own for a while, but Barrett catches him with a Wasteland to give his team the win. Is it me, or has Orton been laying down for everyone after Mark Henry took his title?

World Title: Mark Henry vs Big Show

Crowd chants "Sexual Chocolate" at Mizark. Show is now calling his punch the WMD. Ever wonder why he never just punches guys in the face right at the start of the match? I mean, everyone else does it. The crowd is now chanting "D'Lo Brown". This Madison Square Garden crowd is pretty awesome. The match isn't Angle/Benoit or anything, but both guys work hard. Show kicks out of a World's Strongest Slam, so Mark spears him through the barricade on the outside. Always a cool looking spot, but not enough to get the 10 count for Henry. Not sure if it was that spear through the barricade, but Show thinks he's Macho Man when he gets back to the ring and starts climbing the turnbuckle. He manages to make it to the top and takes half the ppv to get his balance, but eventually comes off with a BIG elbow drop. For two. Mizark gets desperate and unleashes the World's Strongest Kick right to Show's Weapon of Mass Destruction. That's a disqualification, so Show wins while Henry retains the title. Mark Henry ends up getting his leg destroyed by Show after the match, I guess because Big Show isn't a fan of getting his nuts crushed.

WWE Title: Alberto Del Rio vs CM Punk

Punk brings out Howard Finkel as his guest ring announcer to counter Ricardo Rodriguez. Funny bit as Punk is all "Dude, WTF?" after Fink takes an eternity to introduce him. IT'S CLOBBERING TIME! When did Punk start using Mongolian chops? That's going to take a bit to get used to. Great match, as you'd expect from these two. Del Rio keeps working the arm, and Punk keeps going for the GTS, but to no avail. Punk eventually gets caught in the rolling armbreaker, but the crowd chants his name and pops big when he finally makes the ropes. See, that tells you two things: 1) as simple as it is, the crowd really buys Del Rio's cross armbreaker as a dangerous submission hold, and 2) CM Punk is so over (at least with the New York crowd) that the people will chant for him to break said submission hold. Aside from the kids chanting for Cena, you really don't see enough of that nowadays. Not to be outdone, Punk comes back with the Anaconda Vice. Del Rio does an awesome sell of the hold, ripping at Punks face in his attempt to escape, but taps clean to give Punk the title. Good stuff.

John Cena & The Rock vs The Awesome Truth

Rocky is absolutely ripped. He takes the Miz and R-Truth down with armdrags, then breaks out a gorgeous la magistral cradle. The crowd goes crazy for that. Crowd: "You still got it!" Indeed. Truth wants in, and he ends up taking a nice fisherman suplex, perfect bridge and all. Not to knock HHH, because I like him as a wrestler, but HHH takes half a year off, and all he brings to his match with CM Punk are punches and a half dozen Pedigrees. The Rock takes 7 years off, and he comes back with new moves in his arsenal. Rocky "tags" Cena in, and Cena finishes a snapmare sequence with a monkeyflip and a dropkick. MSG: "You still suck!" Tough crowd. Miz and Truth eventually take over on Cena, while Rock paces around on the apron. R-Truth, probably feeling the need to add unnecessary theatrics to simple moves with the Rock and John Cena around, does the splits, spins, dances around, then drops a leg on Cena. Booker: "Ah, ah, lookatdatboy, lookatboy get wicked, ahhhhhhhhhhh, haha, R-Truth, R-Truth get wicked baby!" Clearly, Booker needs to be calling more R-Truth matches. Little kid in the crowd: "Truth, I love you!" Truth: "TAKE THAT LITTLE JIMMY!" It's too bad Truth got suspended following the show, because he was really on the roll of his career here. Anyway, Cena gets the crap beat out of him for a while, until Truth tries another one of his dancing legdrops. Booker: "Ohhhhh, this boy gon do it again, there he go, a little rockin', ohohohohoho!" It unfortunately misses, allowing Rocky to get the hot tag and clean house. He gets the least electrifying Sharpshooter in sports entertainment on Miz, probably to let everyone know that nobody's perfect. Truth saves, which allows Miz to act like a dick for a while, before a spinebuster and a People's Elbow finishes things. John Cena spent virtually the entire match getting beat up, but this was more of a showcase for the Rock, who certainly didn't disappoint.

Cena tries to slink off after the match and give Rock the spotlight, but Rocky calls him back to the ring. He has Cena play to the crowd in the corner, then he climbs the opposite corner to show Cena who the crowd likes better. They do this TWICE, and Cena looks like a doofus for playing along.



Cena tries to leave again, but the Rock gives him the Rock Bottom to really punk him out. Geez. Even Sin Cara came out of this show looking better than John Cena. They're going to need Cena to snap and beat the hell out of the Rock at least once before Mania, because his character just has zero edge at this point. I mean, we get it, Cena is a good guy, but that last segment was pretty much a commercial for the WWE's anti-bullying campaign with Cena as the victim.

Night Of Champions 2011

...joined in progress, as I had Monday off and caught this thing sorta live (JP time) when I woke up. Cody Rhodes and Ted DiBiase are beating on each other, which I guess would make this the Intercontinental Title match. I apparently missed Air Boom vs Awesome Truth while I was sleeping. I wonder what creative savant is coming up with these fantastic team names? I'd like his guidance when naming my future offspring. Whoa, the crowd is dead for this one. Maybe everyone else is just waking up as well. DiBiase pulls off Rhodes' mask, briefly popping the crowd, but he then immediately gets rolled up for the pin. Way to go, Ted. Nothing bad here, but the crowd just isn't behind DiBiase as a babyface at this point.

Hey, it's Christian. This show just got a lot better. Naturally, he wants yet another title shot. The crowd actually chants "one more match" with him until Sheamus interrupts. Sheamus is here to talk about his uncle's green testicles and to kick Christian in the head. That is all.

US Title: Dolph Ziggler vs John Morrison vs Alex Riley vs Jack Swagger

The story here is that Ziggler and Swagger are competing for Vickie Guerrero's managerial services. She should just team them up as ZigSwag. They'd make a hell of a team, too. I caught Ziggler's match against Orton a few weeks back, and this dude can really work. No joke. Anyway, pretty good match here, as all four of these guys can go. After a contrived spot in the corner that sees everyone tossing each other off the top with various suplexes, Riley gets a hot 2 off of the implant DDT. Thought that was it. Swag eventually hits his powerbomb to put Morrison out, but Ziggler steals the pin to retain. Vickie is THRILLED. Seriously, she is really, really happy right now.

Smackdown World Title: Randy Orton vs Mark Henry

Orton is nicknamed the "Apex Predator" (I guess by the same guy who came up with "Cerebral Assassin"), but I'm not sure about his chances against Henry, an actual Predator. The alien species, not the commonly used noun. They've done a really fantastic job with this Henry push, having him destroy every big man on the roster not named the Undertaker. Now let's see if they go all the way with it. Henry immediately wins me over by bending Orton around the ringpost like he's Gumby, then standing on him with both of his fists raised in the air. This is hilarious stuff. Booker T on commentary says that even in his prime he wouldn't want to face Mark Henry. See, the good thing about having Booker at the announce table is that he's willing to put over the current talent at his own expense. Henry proceeds to dominate most of the match, although Orton does manage to get his elevated DDT in a rather impressive looking spot. I leave to cook up some hot dogs, and I guess Orton injures his leg while I'm away because he's limping around the ring when I return. Orton goes for the RKO, but Henry is like, "Bitch, please," swats Orton down to the mat, kills him dead with the World's Strongest Slam, and we've got a new champ. Okay, that was DECISIVE, as Henry absolutely punked Orton out at the end there. Crowd pops pretty big for Henry winning, too. Never thought I'd say this, but hopefully they'll let Henry run with the title for a bit. Henry gets on the mic and welcomes us all to the HALL OF PAIN. Thanks, Mizark! I celebrate with my hot dog while dancing to Mark Henry's music, which is not how I envisioned spending my Monday off.

Divas Title: Kelly Kelly (...Kelly) vs Beth Phoenix

We're apparently in Beth Phoenix's hometown, and indeed, she gets a pretty massive reaction. The crowd chants "Kelly sucks." Usually they'd be right, but Kelly promptly responds by flipping out of a hiptoss and going all Eddie Guerrero with a springboard hurricanrana. Hey now. This match has like 10 times the heat of the Rhodes/DiBiase match, which is pretty funny. Beth is feeling frisky so she breaks out a top rope superplex. Pretty impressive, as even the boys usually do it from the middle rope. Finish comes when Kelly rolls through a powerbomb attempt and gets the 3 to retain. The crowd absolutely hates it, and I can't say that I blame them too much. I mean, it's just the Divas Championship. Why not have Beth win in front of her hometown fans? Kelly can always take the belt back on RAW if they really want the title around her waist.

RAW World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs John Cena

Alberto hoofs it to the ring because Cena stole his Ferrari. So John Cena stopped rapping because it was unbecoming of him as a role model for millions of impressionable children, but grand theft auto is cool? Del Rio brings in Ricardo to introduce him the right way: in Spanish. Not to be outdone, Cena does his own intro, pointing out his Team Jordans, his jorts, and the fact that he dresses like a Fruity Pebble. That's 3 strikes right there. The match itself is pretty good stuff. Alberto's run-up enzuigiri is a thing of beauty. Cole mentions that Del Rio main evented Wrestlemania, which I guess is what they call it now when you curtain jerk. Alberto gets the armbar, but Cena goes to the Rampage Jackson powerbomb counter to escape. He manages the slam, although we'll call it...somewhat less than emphatic. The STF is eventually applied, and Del Rio taps clean to make John Cena a 12 time world champ. Nothing against Cena, but I fail to see the logic in taking the strap off of Del Rio so soon.

HHH vs CM Punk

Michael Cole has lost his voice, so things are looking up. Punk: *checks imaginary wristwatch* "IT'S CLOBBERIN' TIME!" Indeed. Punk attacks HHH while he's spitting water, which is unheard of. Seriously, they let punk shoot on the McMahons AND attack HHH while he's doing the water spit? That Shawn Michaels endorsement must really go a long way. Pretty good brawl ensues, as they beat each other into the crowd and back. Punk gets a pretty sick flying elbow to put HHH through the Spanish announce table, but then things get difficult to follow. Miz and R-Truth show up. They attack both CM Punk and HHH. They put Punk on top, presumably because they want HHH to lose and step down as COO. Punk kicks out. Truth makes funny faces. Miz tries to punch the referee, but the referee BLOCKS it and punches Miz. Miz and Truth beat down said referee. HHH and Punk recover and beat down Miz and Truth. HHH with the Pedigree on Punk. Referee is dead. Go 2 Sleep on HHH. Truth stops the count and saves HHH even though they want HHH to lose. Truth clearly has no idea what is going on. Neither do I. Go 2 Sleep on Truth. Pedigree on Punk. Punk kicks out (!). Kevin Nash is here. He is Booker's big homie. Nash beats on HHH and Punk. Nash tries to powerbomb HHH. Punk saves HHH. Nash powerbombs Punk. HHH hits Nash in the face with a sledgehammer. HHH Pedigrees Punk. HHH wins. Say what now??

Impressions: The main even was an overbooked mess, but I understand that they wanted to keep HHH as COO (what does that stand for again?) for storyline purposes, while keeping CM Punk strong in the process. At the very least, the Miz & Truth stuff is interesting, and I like the idea of them aligning with Kevin Nash to form a new Outsiders group of some sort. Overall, it was just an okay show, but they really hit it out of the park with the Mark Henry push.

Extreme Rules 2011

I'm not planning on making this a regular thing, but I went ahead and tracked down a copy of Sunday's event because I really wanted to see the Smackdown title match. This event is EXTREME, and we'll thus see the superstars going at it in various no disqualification scenarios. Tables, ladders, cages, oh my. We kick things off with Punk and Orton, and I swear, the amount of combined tattoos between these two men has already increased considerably since April 3rd. The anonymous Raw General Manager immediately sends the New Nexus to the back, which CM Punk does not approve of. One of the Nexus members seriously looks like Batista's pissed off little brother.

Randy Orton vs CM Punk (Last Man Standing)
Booker T is doing color here, which makes things infinitely more interesting. He kind of has that Dusty Rhodes vibe on commentary, where he'll get excited to the point that it isn't always immediately clear what's coming out of his mouth. Great match, as you'd probably expect from these two. Some pretty sick bumps here, including CM Punk taking an RKO on the announce table. Punk comes back by wrapping a chair around Orton's throat and ramming it into the ringpost. Booker: "Oh my goodness, he could have crushed a larynx or anything, WHAT THE HELL!" Finish comes when Orton catches Punk up top and brings him down with an elevated RKO. They gave them 20 minutes here, so no real complaints aside from the fact that CM Punk loses yet again. Does this guy ever win on PPV?

US Title: Sheamus vs Kofi Kingston (Tables Match)
This one is technically a bonus match since it wasn't advertised to be on the card. Good for Sheamus since he got shafted at Mania, though you gotta figure that he's losing here since RAW needs a secondary title and Sheamus just got drafted to Smackdown. Decent match. I like that they worked an actual logical tables match, with the entire focus being table spot, counter, table spot, counter, table spot, etc. Kofi takes it after coming off the top with his legdrop onto Sheamus who was outside the ring. Sheamus took the table bump while standing which made it look a lot more impressive.

R-Truth is getting interviewed backstage. I guess he had a title shot but lost it when John Morrison beat him on RAW. Truth smells conspiracy (but apparently can't spell it). Truth: "Conspiracies ain't good, they BAD." He's like Dead Prez meets Mystikal and Sesame Street.

Michael Cole & Jack Swagger vs Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross (Country Whipping Match)
I guess last month's King/Cole match didn't live up to expectations, so they decided to add Jim Ross and his technical wrestling wizardry to the equation. Cole comes out wrapped entirely in bubble wrap, which is actually kind of funny for a few seconds before the whole thing goes to hell. Cole surprises JR with a rollup to take the win. Moving on.

Cody Rhodes vs Rey Mysterio (Falls Count Anywhere)
Cody Rhodes' character has really grown on me. He's accompanied to the ring by a pair of gentlemen who proceed to cover the faces of ringside fans with paper bags because they're "extremely ugly." Tremendous. Falls count anywhere, so they eventually make their way to the back where Rhodes catches Rey with that springboard knee of his. The fans backstage chant "holy shit" and "this is awesome" at that. Um, that seems a tad generous. Back in the ring, Rey breaks out the green mist (!) before hitting the 619 and a splash for the victory. Evil grin from Mysterio afterward. What is he, a heel?

Michelle McCool vs Layla (No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE)
Haven't sat down and watched a proper Divas match in ages, but McCool seems to be pretty good. Layla spends most of the match bawling - as in crying - which is somewhat annoying. McCool hits a Styles Clash, but Layla reverses the pin to steal it. Viscera makes his return after the match and kills McCool dead with a double underhook facebuster. Why is he picking on women? Oh wait, apparently it's not Viscera, but Awesome Kong. Cool. Her WWE ring name is Kharma.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs Christian (Ladder Match)
I like Del Rio a lot, but I've been a huge Christan fan for over 10 years so I'll let you figure out who I'm rooting for here. Booker: "Alberto Del Rio reminds me of myself back in the day as far as going out there and totally trying to get the job done at all times." Indeed, if the definition of "getting the job done at all times" is breakdancing in the middle of the ring instead of pinning your opponent. Not the Jeff Hardy-esque trainwreck that ladder matches are often associated with, but kudos to Del Rio for taking a big ladder bump off a missed elbow drop. Really good match here in spite of Brodus Clay and Edge getting involved. Christian annihilates Brodus Clay with a ladder, which leads to Clay bleeding all over the place like he got shot in the head. They're going to have a lot of fun editing that one out for the DVD release. Christian eventually pushes Del Rio off of a ladder all the way to the outside before climbing it himself to secure his first world title. Edge looks legitimately happy for his friend here, and Christian celebrates with the belt like the title actually means something to him. You don't see enough of that nowadays. Tough not to be happy for Christian, one of the guys who's worked hard and always been a total pro. Great moment.



Alex Riley is talking to the Miz about his upcoming triple threat title match. Riley says that Miz mathematically only has a 33% chance of winning. Well, not if you ask Scott Steiner:



Tag Team Titles: Big Show & Kane vs Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson (Lumberjack Match)
Not trying to be funny or anything, but I seriously have no idea who half of these lumberjacks are. Whatever happened to Wade Barrett's push? Never mind, perhaps Big Zeke ate it. Seems like they have big plans for Ezekiel Jackson, the dude certainly is...large. Show chokeslams Barrett to pick up the win. Nice to know that even though LayCool can't get along, Big Show and Kane will always be BFF.

RAW World Title: The Miz vs John Cena vs John Morrison (Steel Cage Match)
Remember when Miz and Morrison were tag champs? I would have bet money on Morrison becoming world champ first. Hey, this one turned out to be pretty good. Morrison really adds an interesting element to the match with his unique offense. He busts out a C4 at one point, which kind of goes over the head of the crowd. Cena and Morrison try a double superplex on Miz, but Miz takes the bump on his head like it's a brainbuster, resulting in the sickest spot all night. I guess Cena gets jealous of all of Morrison's springy, flippy offense, so he decides to break out a monkey flip. ABUNAAAAII!!! Morrison almost manages to escape through the cage door, but R-Truth shows up and kicks his head in. He proceeds to beat down Morrison and Cena before leaving. You know, I've never been a fan of Truth because he was always this goofy rapper/dancer character that couldn't rap or dance, but at least he has an edge as a heel. Finish comes when Cena recovers and catches Miz with an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope. Good show.

Two days later: reports from this week's Smackdown taping have revealed that Christian has lost the world title to Randy Orton. Wow. I hate that they didn't even let Christian make it through a single episode of Smackdown as champ before slapping the title on Orton for the 8th time. Would it have killed them to let Christian run with the title for one month before having him drop it at the next PPV? On the other hand, I'm happy that Christian got his moment. Taking the title off of him so quickly was absurd - especially considering the reaction he got from the fans when he won the belt - but he's a former world champ now, and that certainly counts for something. Hell, maybe now they'll finally turn him heel. A heel Christian going after Orton would at least be a pretty fresh feud.

Wrestlemania XXVII (Part II)

Okay show so far. Last year the two title matches and HBK/Taker really delivered, so we'll see if HHH/Taker and the RAW title match can push this thing over the top. HHH's intro starts off with Metallica's "For Whom the Bell Tolls" before Motorhead kicks in. Sweet. On the other hand, I'm not really sure what to think of the Undertaker coming out to Johnny Cash's "Ain't No Grave." Great song, but it doesn't really work as a wrestling entrance theme.

Undertaker vs HHH
Here we go. It's definitely going to be tough for them to top that epic Michael Cole/Jerry Lawler encounter. Brawl to start things off, and it isn't long before they're destroying things at ringside. HHH tackles Taker through the Cole Mine, which probably sounds more impressive than it looked. That would have probably gotten a bigger pop if Cole were actually in it. Interesting spin on last year's HBK/Taker bout, with Hunter taking on the role of, um, hunter, and the aging Undertaker doing everything in his power to survive. HHH brings out the heavy artillery: tables, chairs, Pedigrees (3 of them), the works, but the Undertaker somehow manages to hold on each time. At one point, Taker goes for a goozle, but he's so battered by then that HHH just shrugs him off and Tombstones him. Awesome.



Hunter goes for the sledgehammer when that doesn't get the job done, allowing UT to catch him with the Gogoplata. HHH fights it forever but eventually taps to give Taker win #19 in the streak. Here's the thing: it was a mess and the outcome was never really in doubt, but the drama was nonetheless there and they managed to tell a pretty good story. It can't touch the two HBK matches, but this one was pretty good in its own right. A lot of people will argue that there was no substance with both guys repeatedly throwing their finishers at each other, but the show desperately needed something that would get the fans out of their seats, and this certainly did the trick.

Trish Stratus, Snooki, John Morrison vs Dolph Ziggler, LayCool
We don't get Jersey Shore down here so this would be my first time actually seeing Snooki. Um, I guess she's sort of cute and all, but well...let's just say that I feel like I ordered a medium and ended up with a large instead. Trish is still looking good, though. She and McCool do the bulk of the work here until the the guys get involved (sorta). I guess Morrison was only allowed one move, so he decides to do the most dangerous thing he could possibly think of given the circumstances and Starship Pain himself all the way to the floor. At this point something weird happens, as Snooki turns into this chubby little ninja and starts doing flips all over the arena, pinning McCool in the process. You know, if only Jersey Shore actually featured fat chicks who do too many Grey Goose shots and then proceed to cartwheel all over the club and body splash other women, I might actually be interested in tuning in.

RAW World Title: The Miz vs John Cena
Miz has a pretty cool intro video set to Nas' "Hate Me Now" with old Real World clips and highlights from his wrestling career so far. Not really a big fan of Miz's trench coat + underpants look. Alex Riley is also here in his ring gear for some reason. And maybe I missed something, but why is he still carrying around the briefcase? Just what the hell is in there? Cena's elaborate entrance features gospel singers and an even better video set to DMX's "Prayer III"...never thought we'd see that. Those poor singers must be wondering why they're getting booed. The match itself was...not very good. It ends in a draw after both guys are counted out, thus Miz retains. The Rock doesn't like that, so he restarts the match, Rock Bottoms Cena, and Miz retains anyway. Ok then. The thing is that the match the people really wanted to see was Cena/Rock, and as such, the crowd was completely dead until the Rock got involved.

Overall? Decent. It felt sort of like WM2000 or WMXVIII, with the final match just leaving you with a foul aftertaste. The show wasn't without its high points (Punk/Orton, Cody Rhodes, HHH/Taker), but aside from the Undertaker match, there wasn't particularly much that stood out as a definitive Wrestlemania moment. The main event really should have been the culmination of something, but it was instead used as buildup to next year's WM. Make no mistake, John Cena vs The Rock will be absolutely off the charts, but it did nothing for this year's show.

Wrestlemania XXVII (Part I)

I'll be doing this in two parts because I can't sit still and watch wrestling for...well, you know the drill. Apparently Sheamus/Daniel Bryan got bumped off the main card and was turned into a dark match. Then it got changed to a lumberjack match. Then it got "out of hand" and was changed to a battle royal. Then the Great Khali won. Alrighty. Glad that I didn't put money on that match, because I was thinking "Sheamus over Daniel Bryan via Brogue Kick," not "Great Khali over 70% of the roster via superior size and strange, whimsical booking decisions." Sucks for Sheamus and Daniel Bryan, because there's no question that they deserved to be on the card.

The Rock starts the show off with his usual promo. I wonder what else they could have done with those ten minutes...

Smackdown World Title: Edge vs Alberto Del Rio
So we're starting off with the world title? Wouldn't this spot have been perfect for, say, I dunno...a US championship match maybe? It's pretty funny that Alberto Del Rio makes Brodus Clay walk to the ring. I mean c'mon, Eddie Guerrero would have let the dude ride shotgun. Del Rio probably hops on a private jet after the show while Brodus Clay catches the greyhound. Anyway. Edge must be feeling frisky tonight because he busts out a goofy looking somersault plancha. Del Rio does him one better with that SLICK springboard enzuigiri of his. Love that move. Del Rio eventually gets his rolling armbreaker, but Edge takes the win after wearing Del Rio out with his wacky Sharpshooter thing and hitting the spear. After the match, Edge and Christian destroy Del Rio's car with a crowbar to really drive the point home. Jeez. I remember when they were into playing with kazoos and stuff.

Rey Mysterio vs Cody Rhodes
Rey's special Wrestlemania outfit this year is...PUCK!! YES!!! Oh wait, never mind, I think he's supposed to be Captain America. Cody Rhodes' special Wrestlemania outfit this year is Richard Hamilton. He has a darker, moodier remix to his music to go along with his "disfigured" gimmick. That's actually kind of cool. The match is chugging along just fine until Rhodes pauses to give Rey a nice, sensual shoulder massage midway through. Didn't he learn anything from Randy Orton back when he was a part of the Legacy? Chinlocks are the way to go. Not a bad match, minus some silliness with Rhodes' mask. The right guy eventually goes over as Rhodes hits the Cross Rhodes for the win. Let the Sin Cara era begin.

Snoop Dogg is backstage looking for talent. This leads to Sir William Regal busting a rhyme:

Straight out of Blackpool, I'm William Regal
Everybody knows that I do nothing legal
Mess with my man Snoop and you won't be chillin'
Cuz I'll show you why I'm straight up villain.

Best Wrestlemania ever. Funny that we have William Regal and Hornswoggle rapping, but not a sign of R-Truth.

The Corre vs Big Show, Kane, Santino Marella, Kofi Kingston
Kind of sad that Kane is stuck in an 8-man after having probably the best year of his career. This one goes a whopping 2 minutes before Show punches Slater in the face. Great job making The Corre look like a dangerous up-and-coming force to be reckoned with losers here.

The Rock and Mae Young are backstage being inappropriate. They talk about strudel and Mae Young being as old as Moses until Stone Cold shows up. Austin and the Rock have a stare down for old time's sake. Ok, that was pretty cool.

Randy Orton vs CM Punk
This should be good. Good lord, these guys must really enjoy getting tattoos. I wonder what they're going to look like at Wrestlemania XXXII. Nice match with Punk working Orton's leg throughout to negate the punt. Punk even busts out Bret Hart's old ringpost figure four. This one felt a little slow overall with so much of the match revolving around Orton's injured leg, but the finish was a hot one with Punk managing to escape an initial RKO attempt, only to springboard directly into a second. Would have liked to see CM Punk go over here, but the loss doesn't really hurt him too much. Best match of the night so far.

Jerry Lawler vs Michael Cole (w/ Jack Swagger)
Funny bit as Stone Cold comes blazing out on his ATV while Swagger is on the ramp doing push-ups. This would probably be the match with the best buildup, but also the one that needs to be over as quickly as possible. Unfortunately, that doesn't seem to be the case as we are treated to seeing Michael Cole on offense. Josh Matthews: "Look around the ring, there is anguish on the face of everyone in the WWE universe." Josh Matthews, this is true. Lawler eventually makes the comeback and takes it after a fistdrop and an anklelock. As usual, Austin acts a damn fool after the match. This one went on way too long, but at least Lawler got his feel-good Wrestlemania moment. Or so we think, until the anonymous GM reverses the decision to give Cole the win. Whatever.

Part II: Taker/HHH, Miz/Cena.

BATISTA IS DOWN

This past weekend's Royal Rumble provided a few memorable moments, with (my dude) Santino almost managing to take the thing, Alberto Del Rio (also my dude) becoming the eventual winner, and even an appearance by Kevin Nash as Diesel. But more importantly, Booker T made his return, and word is that he'll be joining the Smackdown announce team as a color commentator. Which is awesome.



BATISTA IS DOWN.

Return Of The Dragon

So long Daniel Bryan, welcome back Bryan Danielson. I was really wondering where they were going with this "Daniel Bryan" business and the whole losing streak, but it's looking like the payoff could actually be worth it.



Time to kick some heads in.

Wrestlemania XXVI Thoughts (Part II)

I'll be skipping the Divas match, but let me just say that Vickie Guerrero is the best sport ever. Here's to hoping that Vince is paying her a fortune because she certainly deserves it. I haven't been this amped for a pair of title matches since we had Eddie/Angle and HHH/HBK/Benoit at WMXX, so that's saying a little something.

Bret Hart vs Vince McMahon

Pretty surreal. Vince reveals that he has payed off the entire Hart family to be lumberjacks in his corner, which is promptly followed by Bret revealing that they're actually in his corner. Okay then. Match was about what you'd expect from a post-stroke Bret and a senior citizen. Vince sells the beating like a champ, but the crowd is mostly dead until Bret finally locks on the Sharpshooter 10 minutes in. Not much of a match, but if it brings a bit of closure to the "Bret got screwed" saga, then I suppose that it wasn't for naught. Coolest moment was probably the Hart Dynasty hitting Vince with a pretty stiff Hart Attack, which hopefully means that management has some plans for them.

Smackdown World Title: Chris Jericho vs Edge

Now we're talking. Unless I'm mistaken, this would be Edge's first big match since returning from surgery. Things start slow but get going towards the end with Jericho working on Edge's surgically repaired ankle. Cool moment saw Jericho seamlessly counter Edge's spear into a Codebreaker. Uh, Edge, perhaps your opponent wouldn't see the move coming if you didn't encourage the 70,000 in attendance to chant "spear." Y2J eventually gets the pin after a good old-fashioned belt shot and a second Codebreaker. Both guys have had better matches, but this was nonetheless quite excellent.

RAW World Title: Batista vs John Cena

Pretty good reaction for both wrestlers, and this one definitely has that big match feel to it. A pretty awesome power bout ensues, with both guys swinging for the fences and repeatedly landing the big moves on one another. Say what you will about Cena, but damn, the dude is freakishly strong. Dave Batista is no cruiserweight, but I haven't seen anyone get that much air out of an F-U (Attitude Adjustment, whatever) since Brian Kendrick. Cena is a beast. Finish comes when Cena rolls through a powerbomb attempt and locks in the STF(U). Real good power match. I've always been hot or cold on Cena, but he won me back over to his side with this one. Funniest moment of the night comes when Cena walks over to a bunch of fans wearing "We Hate Cena!" t-shirts and celebrates in front of them with a huge grin on his face. Gotta love that.

Undertaker vs Shawn Michaels

And here we go. Similar start to last year's match, with Michaels dancing away from the Undertaker's strikes and peppering him with chops. Undertaker eventually injures his leg while going "old school," which prompts Shawn to go to work on it with a bunch of submissions, including the anklelock + grapevine combo. Nothing wrong with that, but it'll just be weird 10 years from now when we're watching this reputed Taker/HBK classic and we can't help but say, "Hey, that's Kurt's move." Anyway, in a bit of luck (or a rather stunning display of ring psychology), Michaels moonsaults Undertaker through the announce table and catches him square in the legs. Ouch. The match features a great running story throughout, with Taker repeatedly throwing all 4 of his finishers at Shawn, but HBK just refusing to die. Awesome ending with Taker imploring a withering Shawn to just "stay down," and HBK responding by using the last of his energy to slap the Undertaker across the face. Jumping Tombstone Piledriver, 1, 2, 3, farewell, Shawn. Not quite as flawless as last year's masterpiece, but this one meant more and will thus be the one that everyone talks about for years to come.



Overall? One of the better Wrestlemanias. I still prefer X-Seven and XX, but this one was great in its own right. A couple of the undercard matches desperately needed more time, but the two title matches and HBK/Taker delivered, so there's not too much that you can complain about here. Definitely check it out.

Wrestlemania XXVI Thoughts (Part I)

I'll be doing this in two parts because I just can't sit still and watch wrestling for 4 hours straight anymore. On paper, this looked like it would be one of the all-time great Wrestlemania cards, so let's see if this bad boy manages to live up to some of the hype. They've got the stadium roof open, and the set looks incredible in typical Wrestlemania fashion

Unified Tag Titles: Big Show & the Miz vs R-Truth and John Morrison

Truth comes out first doing his rap thing. I wonder if he's just as incomprehensible to the live audience. Morrison follows, and as Dave Chappelle once said, everything looks better...in slow motion. And finally, ShoMiz, with that terrible entrance music and all 27 of their titles. Predictably fun match, though I had to play it back since I went to get a bag of chips and the match had somehow finished while I was away. Seriously? ShoMiz get the win after Big Show punches Morrison out of the sky. In a perfect world, you'd have the Hart Dynasty or Cryme Tyme challenging for the titles here, but I can understand throwing RonJohn together because there's no question that they deserved a spot somewhere on the card.

Randy Orton vs Ted DiBiase vs Cody Rhodes

Pretty massive pop for Orton. I've only been a sporadic viewer of the product at best, so Orton sort of caught me off guard with how well he seems to have nailed down that deranged persona of his. Everything, from the way he stomps on his opponents to the way he moves around the ring is unique, which really adds another dimension to that character. He unfortunately made DiBiase and Rhodes look like a couple of pussies here, but the decisive booking should probably vault Randy back into the title picture. If the WWE is smart, they'll keep him as a renegade Austin-type tweener, one who's a little too crazy to discern between good and bad.

Money in the Bank: lots and lots of people
Jack Swagger comes out looking like a proportionate Kurt Angle. I actually kind of dig his fake Rage Against the Machine music. My money was on Christian, but I forgot that Drew McIntyre was in there as well. The usual fun match, but nothing really crazy as Shelton Benjamin has apparently decided against going through with his annual attempt to kill himself. Kofi Kingston slips on a ladder while trying to teabag Kane in the corner, but makes up for it later by using two halves of a broken ladder as stilts in an attempt to get the briefcase. At one point in the match, Christian reverses a Matt Hardy Twist of Fate into a reverse DDT off the ladder, but Michael Cole still calls it a Twist of Fate. God, Cole sucks. But then again, Jim Ross would have probably called it an Unprettier, so I guess nobody's perfect. Finish comes when Swagger(!?) knocks Christian off the ladder and grabs the case (after taking an eternity to get the thing unhooked). I actually have no problem with Swagger winning, I just hope that they tag him with a new nickname because the All-American American sounds like a Carl's Jr. sandwich or something. The guy has size and talent as opposed to just size for a change, so he's not the worst guy to elevate.

HHH vs Sheamus
The arena roof remains open, which means that Sheamus will be getting some sun, perhaps for the first time in his life from the look of things. Just weird seeing HHH this far down the card. He even comes to the ring sans any Halloween costumes or an appearance by Motorhead, which is pretty subdued by his standards. Hunter eventually gets the pin via Pedigree after an okay match. Sheamus probably should have got the win here, but they put him over as a guy who could hang with HHH on the big stage, which I guess counts for something. First time really seeing Sheamus in action, but I guess he isn't terrible. Just terribly white.

CM Punk vs Rey Mysterio
This should be pretty darn good. Punk cuts his typically awesome promo while walking down to the ring. Apparently this feud escalated when CM Punk interrupted a birthday celebration for Rey's daughter on an episode of Smackdown. Let's just ignore wrestling logic for second - Mysterio celebrating his daughter's birthday in a wrestling ring? And we're supposed to be mad at Punk for interrupting that? If I paid money to go and see Smackdown live, I'd want to see wrestling matches, not birthday parties. Anyway. Criminally short match, but lots of cool stuff thrown in during the allotted time. Rey even manages to (mostly) hit that springboard backflip DDT that he only ever pulled off at Halloween Havoc with Eddie Guerrero. Lots of cool GTS reversals by Rey, and he eventually gets the pin following a 619/splash combo. Awesome chemistry between these two, but the match needed at least 10 minutes.

Part 2: Bret/Vince, World Title matches, and of course, Taker/HBK II.

WMXXVI

Tomorrow's Wrestlemania 26 card is looking pretty awesome. The WWE has actually been on a bit of a roll as of late, pretty much because it's the opposite of this:



Seriously, if TNA were like that every week I think America would definitely tune in, albeit for all the wrong reasons. No WM predictions this year, but I'll try and check back with some post-show thoughts if I can manage to track down a copy of the event.

WWE Signs Bryan Danielson

The American Dragon looks to be headed to the big leagues. Notable because Danielson is quite possibly the best technical wrestler on the planet. I imagine that the WWE's sudden interest in ROH's top star has something to do with how well the CM Punk experiment has been turning out.



Now we get to see whether or not management actually intends to give Danielson a proper push. On the bright side, HBK and William Regal trained him, so a couple of guys with some pull (to say the least) are likely in his corner.

Mitsuharu Misawa

I was going to post about Mirko Cro Cop's successful return to the octagon, but simply can't after hearing about Misawa's untimely passing. He reportedly took a suplex during a match and just never got up. We'd watch him wrestle sometimes and wonder how he could still take all those crazy bumps in his forties, but it turns out that he was mortal after all.



三沢 光晴 1962-2009

RIP Misawa. Truly one of the greatest and most important pro-wrestlers of all time.

Bobby Lashley (3-0)

Bobby Lashley defeated Mike Cook by submission to keep his undefeated record alive. According to reports, Mike Cook was clowning around and came to the ring with a Rey Mysterio mask on, obviously taking a shot at the fact that Lashley was a former WWE pro-wrestler. This seemed to tick Lashley off, as he refused to touch gloves with Cook before the bout, then proceeded to choke him out in a mere 24 seconds. While professional wrestling is certainly scripted, it's kind of funny that some fighters are still questioning the legitimacy of guys like Lashley and Lesnar. I guess it's fair that they want to make a name for themselves, but damn, if I were going to rile up someone, Lashley would not be my first choice.

Next up for Mr. Lashley:



Bob "The Beast" Sapp. That'll be a sight. Sapp can still be a scary striker when he isn't acting all goofy for the Japanese cameras, so it could get interesting.

WWE Draft In Review

Raw: Oh boy. HHH, Cena, Orton, Batista, Big Show, Michaels…guys like Matt Hardy and MVP aren't even going to sniff a world title shot with that mess clogging up the main event scene. I'll be perfectly honest, all this WWE draft talk is just an excuse for me to post this picture of Cena wearing the Jordan 2K9.



I like that the Tag Team titles are unified and on Raw, but hopefully Carlito and Primo won’t immediately be jobbed out to DiBiase and Rhodes. It’s pretty clear that Legacy will have those belts eventually, but a proper feud with the Colons over the titles would be nice. Sucks that THE Brian Kendrick will likely be reduced to getting squashed by Batista on a weekly basis, but I guess that’s just how it goes sometimes.

ECW: Not sure why Christian is still stuck on this show. He’s in his prime and seems to be getting big reactions, but I guess that management doesn’t want to really push a guy who still has that TNA vibe.



They probably need a vet who knows how to work the ring and bring along the younger talent, but isn’t that what Finlay and Dreamer are around for? Speaking of Finlay, the fact that they separated him from Hornswoggle is likely a sign that they plan to turn him heel soon. I like the addition of Hurricane Helms to the roster, and would love to see a series Bourne/Helms matches. It’s funny, when Sugar Shane Helms first broke in during the later WCW days, he was pretty much the equivalent of Bourne today; young, talented, fast, and with a killer finish (the Vertebreaker) to boot. I actually like the idea of the ECW brand being a developmental area of sorts, where the younger talent can hone their skills until they “graduate” to one of the main shows, ala Miz and Morrison.

Smackdown: SD looks like it could be a real good show. Jericho is so damn good on the microphone right now that I wouldn’t be surprised to see him take Edge’s spot as the show’s top heel. When Jericho was feuding with HBK, I would actually track down clips of Raw just to watch him cut promos. No disrespect, but I’ve never thought to myself, “Hmm, I wonder what HHH said last night?” I just haven’t.



While the midcarders on Raw have virtually no chance of breaking through that bulletproof glass ceiling, the guys on SD have a legitimate chance to make a splash. Aside from maybe Taker, the main eventers don’t seem to have problems putting people over. Here’s to hoping that they pull the trigger on John Morrison or Shelton Benjamin, preferably both. Raw wins in terms of star power, but purely from a wrestling perspective, SD could potentially rock.

Wrestlemania 25 Preview

I haven't really been following the product (for obvious reasons), but I always find myself getting interested again when the big show rolls around. Just on paper - and maybe it's just me - this card is looking pretty darn good. Aside from the annual Diva trash, I don't really see a match that doesn't look to have some degree of entertainment value. If there's one issue that I have with the card, it's the absence of an ECW title match. How hard would it be to give 10 minutes to Jack Swagger vs Evan Bourne? I don't really have much of an opinion on Swagger, but considering how over Bourne is, there's no reason why he shouldn't be somewhere on the card. Seriously, he was made for the Money in the Bank match.

The card:

Chris Jericho vs. Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka, Ricky "The Dragon" Steamboat and Rowdy Roddy Piper w/Ric Flair
What's this all about? Jericho is the company's best heel aside from maybe (MAYBE) Orton, and you have him fighting a bunch of senior citizens? I don't really see the logic, but maybe I just missed something.

Extreme Rules Match: Matt Hardy vs. Jeff Hardy
Should be a good one. Might have been a good idea to keep the ECW title on Matt to give the belt some visibility, but oh well.

25-Diva "Miss WrestleMania" Battle Royal: Known Participants - Melina, Maryse, Mickie James, Gail Kim, Michelle McCool, Nikki Bella, Brie Bella, Alicia Fox, Kelly Kelly, Maria, Eve Torres, Katie Lea Burchill, Beth Phoenix, Layla El, Rosa Mendes, Candice Michelle, Natalya Neidhart, Jillian Hall, Tiffany, Sunny, Torrie Wilson, Molly Holly, Victoria and Jackie Gayda-Haas
Your obligatory bathroom break of the night. Actually, I take that back. Molly Holly!? At least she'll bring a little bit of awesome to the match. I still miss the days when Trish was still around and Mickie was still crazy.

Money in the Bank Ladder Match: CM Punk vs. Kane vs. Mark Henry vs. MVP vs. Shelton Benjamin vs. Kofi Kingston vs. Christian vs. Finlay
OH SNAP! MARK HENRY IN A LADDER MATCH! MARK HENRY IN A LADDER MATCH! That's reason enough to purchase this show. I don't really care who goes over in any of the other matches, but I'm pulling for my man, the Instant Classic Captain Charisma Christian Cage in this one.

Winner Takes All – WWE Tag Team Titles vs. World Tag Team Titles – Unified Tag Team Title LUMBERJACK Match: The Miz and John Morrison © vs. Carlito and Primo Colon ©
No shit, a Tag Title match at Wrestlemania? When was the last time we had one of those? I could do without the lumberjack stipulation, but I like that they're at least trying to make the Tag Titles look important.

IC Title Match: JBL © vs. Rey Mysterio
That, and we get an Intercontinental Title match as well? What's going on here? Kind of weird having a couple of former world champs fighting over the IC title, but I guess both these guys deserve their spot on the show in shape or form.

The Undertaker vs. Shawn Michaels
There are a few matches that have match of the night potential, and this is definitely one of them. It's kind of scary when you consider how good these guys still are at this point in their careers. Can't see any reason to end the Taker streak at this point, so the outcome isn't really much of a mystery. Should still be a real good match.

World Title Match: Edge © vs. The Big Show vs. John Cena
To be honest, I'm pretty lukewarm on all of these guys. Should be a pretty fun match at the least, with Edge or Cena likely going over. I'm actually not even sure what Show is doing in there.

WWE Title Match: HHH © vs. Randy Orton
Looks like the build for this one has been pretty well done. I'm starting to buy Orton as a sinister, conniving bastard, whereas I used to think he was just a dickhead. So yeah, it looks like he's been improving a lot as a heel. Logic suggests that Orton goes over and the Legacy runs Raw for a while, but again, you never know with HHH involved.

RIP Test

And we lose another one. Former WWE star Andrew "Test" Martin was found dead in his Florida apartment. Martin was only 33. It's kind of scary that the wrestlers from the late 90s Attitude Era are already starting to pass away. I can't say that I'm surprised, especially considering that Test was looking absolutely jacked during his second WWE run under the ECW brand and supposedly had a history of alcohol problems. The sad part is that Martin had reportedly cleaned up and had been hinting that he would be making a return to the ring in Japan. I can't say that I was a huge fan of his, but he was a solid, stiff worker with a great motor and excellent agility for a big man. Watching Test was sort of like watching Kevin Nash in fast forward, and Test would have probably been a huge star if it weren't for his limited abilities on the microphone. Nevertheless, it's a tragedy to lose another one of our generation's wrestlers so early.

Lashley Versus Shamrock Fight In The Works

Bobby “Battletoad” Lashley is reportedly set to take on Ken Shamrock in his next mixed martial arts fight. Lashley quietly won his first MMA bout by TKO, but it remains to be seen whether he is capable of having the type of impact that fellow former wrestling star Brock Lesnar has had. The similarities are there: freakish build/strength, excellent agility, an amateur wrestling background, etc., but oddly enough, much like he did as a WWE superstar, Lashley comes off as a guy who does a decent Lesnar impression (hence the "Black Lesnar" nickname) but isn’t quite as good across the board. Either way, age will likely be the determining factor in the Lashley/Shamrock fight. Lashley could very well fall due to his inexperience, and Shamrock due to the fact that he’s rapidly approaching fossil territory and is 3-7 in his last 10 fights. It’s a pairing that might be better suited to a wrestling ring, but it’s also one that should have the casual fans interested. I'd expect Lashley to overpower Shamrock and win handily, but you never know.

As Joey Styles Would Say: "OH MY GOD!!!"

Ok, now this is great stuff. Taken from PWI:

During the recent trip to Iraq, JBL was harassing former WWE announcer and now WWE.com head Joey Styles. JBL was basically bullying him, being rude, condescending and also spilling a drink on Styles at one point. JBL seemed to target Styles since it was his first trip with the company to Iraq, something Styles was looking forward too. Many people in the company don't like when JBL does these things, but they feel that they have to deal with it due to the fact that he is a tenured veteran and has a lot of political stroke backstage.

After a few days on the tour, JBL (who was drinking) did something to Styles that upset him so much that he physically retaliated. Several wrestlers tried to break up the situation, but JBL broke free. This is when Styles threw a punch that not only laid out JBL, but also blackened his eye. Many within the company feel that this is karma, due to the fact that JBL has "hazed" people for years, including the Blue Meanie beat down at the first "One Night Stand" as well as the European Tour where Smackdown talent Palmer Cannon quit the company due to the actions of JBL.

This was the talk of the locker room last night at Raw. JBL was reportedly very out of character, as he was quiet and subdued backstage. Styles tried to downplay the entire incident when people brought it up. Most feel that this is a double embarrassment for JBL, first of all because he got punched out by an announcer, and secondly because he is very instrumental in setting up the Iraq tours.

Not that I’m that big of a JBL hater (I’m not) or that I’m that big of a Joey Styles fan (I’m not), but this is absolute gold. A former WWE champ getting dropped by the guy who oversees WWE.com? I don’t know if there’s any real cure for douchebaggery, but this would probably be the closest thing.