Dragonball Evolution

Dragonball Evolution
(spoilers below)

Turns out that we get certain movies before they come out stateside. Unfortunately, it's usually trash like The Legend of Chun-Li and Dragonball Evolution. I figured that Dragonball was going to be bad, but I didn't quite anticipate it being the worst movie that I'd ever seen. For one reason or another, the plot revolves around a teenage Goku, which means we get to watch him daydream about the most popular girl at school and cope with rich kid bullies. You know, all the things that immediately come to mind when you think Dragonball. We eventually move away from the science classes and the house parties, but the rest of the movie doesn't fare much better, as an out of place (but cute) Emmy Rossum joins the fray as Bulma, and Chow Yun-Fat gives a spirited but painful to watch performance as Muten-Roshi. Even Yamcha makes a completely irrelevant appearance, literally adding nothing to the story. The special effects are as bad as the script, the fight scenes are bland, the villain doesn't get enough screen time, and...well, you get the picture. Avoid like the plague, naturally.

Smart Went Crazy

It's becoming apparent that I'm going to have to fly back home at least once a year just to get some serious shopping done. You know, strictly the essentials: movies, games, gear, sneakers. Before flying over here, I jokingly noted to myself that I would be spending all of my free time at Best Buy, but that turned out to be a lot closer to the truth than I had bargained for. Since I currently reside in the land of 4000 yen DVDs, being able to pick up entertaining trash like Blades of Glory and Clerks II for $5 a pop is like a dream come true. At any rate, I'm ready to get some serious gaming done.

Early Dragon Ball image

Um, wow. An image of Goku from the upcoming Dragon Ball movie has been making the rounds.



That is all.

Scarlett Johansson off the market

Looks like Scarlett Johansson is set to tie the knot with Ryan Reynolds. I'd say that he's overachieving, but the guy clearly has something going for him. I mean, it's a small miracle that his career survived Van Wilder as far as I'm concerned. Seriously, Van Wilder? From there, he grows muscles in places that most people don't have places (thanks King), gets cast in his reported dream role as Deadpool, and to top it all off, he lands Scarlett Johansson. Lucky dude. But good for him, I guess. Scarlett also has some big things on the horizon, most notably her Tom Waits cover album, Anywhere I Lay My Head. I was planning on checking it out anyway, but with David Andrew Sitek (TV on the Radio) and Nick Zinner (Yeah Yeah Yeahs) reportedly involved, it could actually be pretty darn good.

Iron Man

Iron Man
(spoilers below)

Word is that Iron Man brought in over $100 million (!?) this weekend alone, and for good reason. Robert Downey Jr. is absolutely perfect in the role of Tony Stark, the brilliant, sharp tongued, and incredibly flawed multi-billionaire. Without delving too deep into the plot, the movie is well paced, funny without giving of that impression that it's trying way too hard (ala Fantastic Four), and is a Transformers-esque visual treat, certainly deserving of its unofficial title as the summer's first blockbuster. As a result, Iron Man, much like Spider-Man before it, is accessible to the casual viewers who may not have picked up a comic book in their lives. But that's not to say that Iron Man will disappoint the comic book geeks; Downey plays Stark better than anyone could have imagined, the film's Stan Lee cameo is definitely the funniest to date, and we even get overt mentions of S.H.I.E.L.D. and the Avengers. As advertised, the Iron Man suit itself is spectacular, and it wouldn't be a stretch to say that the film could successfully turn Iron Man into a household name, a distinction traditionally reserved for the Supermans and Spider-Mans of the comic book world. Thankfully, a trilogy looks to be in the works, and with Terence Howard in a War Machine suit and more of Sam Jackson as Nick Fury in the cards, things are looking good for Marvel's latest film franchise.

Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool!

Looks like Ryan Reynolds has been cast as Deadpool in the upcoming Wolverine movie. It's interesting that the success of the Spider-Man and X-Men flicks has prompted all the Hollywood comic book geeks to come out of the woodwork. Nicholas Cage getting to play Ghost Rider was cool news, but Ryan Reynolds as Deadpool is beyond awesome. Although Reynolds already has the physical build of a superhero/villain, his delivery is so snarky and comedic in tone that it's tough to take him seriously in anything other than a comic relief role (see Blade: Trinity). With Deadpool, he can be his usual "Jason Lee w/ muscles" self and totally hit the character perfectly. Gambit is also slated to make an appearance in the film, so the X-Men loyalists will certainly have a lot to mull over in the aftermath of the X3 semi-disaster. Regardless, how do you not get up for Reynolds as Deadpool? Talk about perfect casting. And here I was excited about Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark.



Unfortunately, Kitty Pryde doesn't appear to be in the script, thus squelching any hope of getting to see her take a Deadpool Dragon Punch. Too bad.

Cloverfield

Cloverfield
(spoilers below)

Great take on the giant monster genre. Godzilla meets Blair Witch is hardly a ringing endorsement, but Cloverfield is one of those rare cases of two wrongs making a right. The monster is clearly the star of the movie, but the great thing about Cloverfield is that the focus is kept on human emotion on the street level. Destruction is the film's key selling point, but it's certainly a different breed of carnage with the buildings and the teeth coming down around and on top of you. Surprisingly, the entire cast does a passable job despite the total absence of A-level talent. Lizzy Caplan (of Mean Girls fame) is starting to resemble Zooey Deschanel a bit, so I naturally tend to find her somewhat attractive. As such, I was a little disappointed when she gets bitten, infected, and subsequently explodes midway through the movie. They don't really explain why, which is kind of what makes the flick so great. There's no Morgan Freeman narration to walk us through, nor is there a brainy scientist running around with his "I told you so!" exclamations. As a result, the rampant "wtf!?" reactions from the main cast are sort of echoed by the audience. With Hollywood churning out so many grand, big budget spectacles that fail to engage viewers, Cloverfield is actually a bit of a rarity. Not to build up the film as something that it isn't, because it's still a total popcorn flick, but it's a fun (albeit often nauseating) and fresh movie that'll no doubt be the subject of discussion at many a water cooler tomorrow morning. I'm still a little partial to The Host, the South Korean monster film from a couple years back, but it's pretty awesome that a movie outside of Asia is even close. Definite recommendation for at least a rent sometime down the line, but Cloverfield's the type of sensory overload that's better suited to the big screen. Check it out.

AVPR > AVPG-13?

Alien Vs Predator -Requiem
(spoilers below)

For one reason or another, we decided that it would be a good idea to catch the newly released AVPR to top off our Christmas. I've always been the selectively squeamish type (I'll pass on any eyeball violence, thanks), but there really wasn't much to get grossed out over in AVPR. They certainly didn't skimp on the violence this time around - if nothing else, the R rating was a step in the right direction - but the deaths, though they come at a somewhat alarming rate as the film hits the stretch run, are neither creative nor particularly grisly. The Aliens themselves, while undeniably iconic in the monster genre, are actually somewhat difficult to root against in a movie where the human characters are simply inane and badly acted. Some of the shortcuts taken in an attempt to make the Aliens despicable "characters" are so blatant that they end up coming off as laughable instead (it's suggested that the main Predator-Alien enjoys dining on human infants, a face-hugger gets to impregnate its first 8-year-old, etc.). And unfortunately, the only things that the Predator consistently has going for him are his plethora of toys. It's almost James Bond-ish the way that he'll break out a new gadget once or twice every movie, but his mystique has arguably been gone since the halfway point of Predator 2. Oddly enough, the movie even has a teen slasher feel to it, with subplots revolving around a pizza delivery guy, the pretty blonde that he has a crush on, and her jealous boyfriend. The blonde eventually bites the dust when she gets impaled by one of those giant ninja stars that the Predators like to carelessly toss around, which is about as close to a ballsy move as we see in the film. Of course, as teen slasher flicks generally go, we're never really given a reason to care that the blonde is alive, so spectacular impaling or not, we don't really care much that she's dead either.

Utter trash? I wouldn't go that far. It's an improvement over the first AVP, though both movies are significantly less fun than their Alien predecessors because they're set in present day. A lot of the Alien/Predator fight scenes are kind of cool, and seeing (sorta) a pack of Aliens tear through a squadron of soldiers is somewhat reminiscent of the Aliens/Marines exchanges from the second Alien flick. The Predator does have some moments as well, as he hilariously transitions from the stealthy hunter who goes around setting traps and erasing evidence to the "fuck this shit" intergalactic warrior, heedlessly firing his energy cannons at unarmed tenants and blowing up the town's power generators. The movie clearly isn't high art by any stretch of the imagination, but AVPR is semi-fun, violent, nonsensical trash. Worth a gander if you're a fan.

Not Bad Pretty Good Day

Listening to:
Tsunami Bomb
The Invasion From Within
track: "No Good Very Bad Day"

It's kind of ironic, I only listen to Tsunami Bomb's "No Good Very Bad Day" because it's an upbeat track that puts me in a good mood. I guess that's the point of the song. Work hasn't been bad at all lately, and aside from having to eat leftover turkey twice a day for the past 5 days, I've got considerably few qualms about life at the moment. In reality, I think my good mood has less to do with Tsunami Bomb and more to with my scheduled meeting for tomorrow afternoon getting canceled. Nothing like an unexpected day off to get you and life on good terms huh?

Upcoming movies/Hollywood scuttlebutt:
-Fast and the Furious 4 will feature a returning Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, and Jordana Brewster (!). So who knows, it might actually be a pretty good movie like the original. Not to say that I didn't enjoy the two sequels, because I quite liked Tokyo Drift, and to a much lesser extent, 2 Fast 2 Furious, but you can't deny that they both emphatically fall under that "shut your brain off for 90 minutes & enjoy yourself" category. Not that there's anything wrong with that. One thing for sure, when Vin Diesel is bringing a sense of acting legitimacy to the cast, you're probably not going to get a whole lot of sharp delivery. I'm actually looking forward to this one though.

-A Juggernaut X-Men spin-off is rumored be in the works next, joining the already confirmed Magneto and Wolverine flicks. Given the clusterfuck that X3 turned out to be, solo "origins" type spin-offs might actually be the way to go to give the films a sense of focus. And really, if you're going to lift three actors from any of the X-Men movies to do spin-offs with (Patrick Stewart aside), Ian McKellen, Hugh Jackman, and Vinnie Jones are definitely the three guys to go with.

-Common has reportedly landed the role of the Green Lantern in the upcoming Justice League movie. Haha. I'm actually not sure what to say about that.

-The live action Dragon Ball Z film is a go. This is notable because 13-year-old fanboys from all over America have been clamoring for this movie to be made for years, and now the rest of the world will have to suffer as a result. I really want to give the idea of a live action DBZ flick a fair shake, but is there any chance that this movie turns out to be anything other than an utter cinematic disaster? I don't actively dislike Dragon Ball, nor do I care about the series enough to be worried about some Hollywood flick sullying the franchise (ha!), but it's clear that the vast majority of animated shows out there don't translate nearly as well to the big-screen as their live action directors would like to believe that they do. Dragon Ball will effectively become the epitome of this rule.

-A live action version of Akira has also been confirmed. What's up with Hollywood deciding to make movies based on successful 80's anime titles all of a sudden? Strange. But along with Robotech, I'm guardedly optimistic about this one. What can I say? I'm a sucker for violent, post-apocalyptic stuff.

-Actress Hayden Panettiere (of Heroes fame) has reportedly gone on record saying that she would, "...love to have an affair with Angelina (Jolie)!" Yeah, well get in line. I'm actually not really sure why Panettiere voicing the opinion of 80% of the world's population qualifies as news.

-Fabio has reportedly called George Clooney "half a man" after the two got into an altercation at a restaurant a few weeks ago. Not that I have anything against Clooney, but this rules, because Fabio is the shit.