Extreme Rules 2011

I'm not planning on making this a regular thing, but I went ahead and tracked down a copy of Sunday's event because I really wanted to see the Smackdown title match. This event is EXTREME, and we'll thus see the superstars going at it in various no disqualification scenarios. Tables, ladders, cages, oh my. We kick things off with Punk and Orton, and I swear, the amount of combined tattoos between these two men has already increased considerably since April 3rd. The anonymous Raw General Manager immediately sends the New Nexus to the back, which CM Punk does not approve of. One of the Nexus members seriously looks like Batista's pissed off little brother.

Randy Orton vs CM Punk (Last Man Standing)
Booker T is doing color here, which makes things infinitely more interesting. He kind of has that Dusty Rhodes vibe on commentary, where he'll get excited to the point that it isn't always immediately clear what's coming out of his mouth. Great match, as you'd probably expect from these two. Some pretty sick bumps here, including CM Punk taking an RKO on the announce table. Punk comes back by wrapping a chair around Orton's throat and ramming it into the ringpost. Booker: "Oh my goodness, he could have crushed a larynx or anything, WHAT THE HELL!" Finish comes when Orton catches Punk up top and brings him down with an elevated RKO. They gave them 20 minutes here, so no real complaints aside from the fact that CM Punk loses yet again. Does this guy ever win on PPV?

US Title: Sheamus vs Kofi Kingston (Tables Match)
This one is technically a bonus match since it wasn't advertised to be on the card. Good for Sheamus since he got shafted at Mania, though you gotta figure that he's losing here since RAW needs a secondary title and Sheamus just got drafted to Smackdown. Decent match. I like that they worked an actual logical tables match, with the entire focus being table spot, counter, table spot, counter, table spot, etc. Kofi takes it after coming off the top with his legdrop onto Sheamus who was outside the ring. Sheamus took the table bump while standing which made it look a lot more impressive.

R-Truth is getting interviewed backstage. I guess he had a title shot but lost it when John Morrison beat him on RAW. Truth smells conspiracy (but apparently can't spell it). Truth: "Conspiracies ain't good, they BAD." He's like Dead Prez meets Mystikal and Sesame Street.

Michael Cole & Jack Swagger vs Jerry Lawler and Jim Ross (Country Whipping Match)
I guess last month's King/Cole match didn't live up to expectations, so they decided to add Jim Ross and his technical wrestling wizardry to the equation. Cole comes out wrapped entirely in bubble wrap, which is actually kind of funny for a few seconds before the whole thing goes to hell. Cole surprises JR with a rollup to take the win. Moving on.

Cody Rhodes vs Rey Mysterio (Falls Count Anywhere)
Cody Rhodes' character has really grown on me. He's accompanied to the ring by a pair of gentlemen who proceed to cover the faces of ringside fans with paper bags because they're "extremely ugly." Tremendous. Falls count anywhere, so they eventually make their way to the back where Rhodes catches Rey with that springboard knee of his. The fans backstage chant "holy shit" and "this is awesome" at that. Um, that seems a tad generous. Back in the ring, Rey breaks out the green mist (!) before hitting the 619 and a splash for the victory. Evil grin from Mysterio afterward. What is he, a heel?

Michelle McCool vs Layla (No DQ, Loser Leaves WWE)
Haven't sat down and watched a proper Divas match in ages, but McCool seems to be pretty good. Layla spends most of the match bawling - as in crying - which is somewhat annoying. McCool hits a Styles Clash, but Layla reverses the pin to steal it. Viscera makes his return after the match and kills McCool dead with a double underhook facebuster. Why is he picking on women? Oh wait, apparently it's not Viscera, but Awesome Kong. Cool. Her WWE ring name is Kharma.

Smackdown World Title: Alberto Del Rio vs Christian (Ladder Match)
I like Del Rio a lot, but I've been a huge Christan fan for over 10 years so I'll let you figure out who I'm rooting for here. Booker: "Alberto Del Rio reminds me of myself back in the day as far as going out there and totally trying to get the job done at all times." Indeed, if the definition of "getting the job done at all times" is breakdancing in the middle of the ring instead of pinning your opponent. Not the Jeff Hardy-esque trainwreck that ladder matches are often associated with, but kudos to Del Rio for taking a big ladder bump off a missed elbow drop. Really good match here in spite of Brodus Clay and Edge getting involved. Christian annihilates Brodus Clay with a ladder, which leads to Clay bleeding all over the place like he got shot in the head. They're going to have a lot of fun editing that one out for the DVD release. Christian eventually pushes Del Rio off of a ladder all the way to the outside before climbing it himself to secure his first world title. Edge looks legitimately happy for his friend here, and Christian celebrates with the belt like the title actually means something to him. You don't see enough of that nowadays. Tough not to be happy for Christian, one of the guys who's worked hard and always been a total pro. Great moment.



Alex Riley is talking to the Miz about his upcoming triple threat title match. Riley says that Miz mathematically only has a 33% chance of winning. Well, not if you ask Scott Steiner:



Tag Team Titles: Big Show & Kane vs Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson (Lumberjack Match)
Not trying to be funny or anything, but I seriously have no idea who half of these lumberjacks are. Whatever happened to Wade Barrett's push? Never mind, perhaps Big Zeke ate it. Seems like they have big plans for Ezekiel Jackson, the dude certainly is...large. Show chokeslams Barrett to pick up the win. Nice to know that even though LayCool can't get along, Big Show and Kane will always be BFF.

RAW World Title: The Miz vs John Cena vs John Morrison (Steel Cage Match)
Remember when Miz and Morrison were tag champs? I would have bet money on Morrison becoming world champ first. Hey, this one turned out to be pretty good. Morrison really adds an interesting element to the match with his unique offense. He busts out a C4 at one point, which kind of goes over the head of the crowd. Cena and Morrison try a double superplex on Miz, but Miz takes the bump on his head like it's a brainbuster, resulting in the sickest spot all night. I guess Cena gets jealous of all of Morrison's springy, flippy offense, so he decides to break out a monkey flip. ABUNAAAAII!!! Morrison almost manages to escape through the cage door, but R-Truth shows up and kicks his head in. He proceeds to beat down Morrison and Cena before leaving. You know, I've never been a fan of Truth because he was always this goofy rapper/dancer character that couldn't rap or dance, but at least he has an edge as a heel. Finish comes when Cena recovers and catches Miz with an Attitude Adjustment off the top rope. Good show.

Two days later: reports from this week's Smackdown taping have revealed that Christian has lost the world title to Randy Orton. Wow. I hate that they didn't even let Christian make it through a single episode of Smackdown as champ before slapping the title on Orton for the 8th time. Would it have killed them to let Christian run with the title for one month before having him drop it at the next PPV? On the other hand, I'm happy that Christian got his moment. Taking the title off of him so quickly was absurd - especially considering the reaction he got from the fans when he won the belt - but he's a former world champ now, and that certainly counts for something. Hell, maybe now they'll finally turn him heel. A heel Christian going after Orton would at least be a pretty fresh feud.