Wishing I Were Niko

Playing:
Grand Theft Auto IV
(PS3)

I beat Persona 4 a while back, but I’m guessing that I messed up somewhere along the way because the ending was a bag of asses. Guess I’ll just have to get it right the second time around. I’ve also pretty much abandoned Street Fighter IV and have been playing Grand Theft Auto exclusively. It’s possibly the best game that I’ve ever played, though not necessarily my favorite. Stealing cars and blowing stuff up is still fun and all, but it’s really the weird little things about the game that I love. For instance:

-Going to a burger joint every day of the week and being greeted by the lifeless girl at the register who flatly says, “Welcome to Burger Shot.” Then during the following week, some black dude is randomly working the counter and he’s like, “Welcome to Burger Shot muh-fuckaaaaa!!!” Tremendous.

-Accidentally running over your Jamaican homeboy at about 3 mph in your car, to which he simply exclaims, “Bumbaclut!”

-Doing weird shit like picking up a prostitute, crashing your car in dramatic fashion outside of a police station, then getting head while your ride is upside down.

-Taking your killer/coke dealer/gangster homeboy out to the bowling alley for a game or two, and hearing him shout, “YEAH! THIS IS FUN!” at around the 5th frame or so. Dude needs to calm down.

-Opting to get shot to death rather than arrested because the police confiscate your weapons. “Dying” will get you sent to the hospital, but the doctors and nurses apparently have no problem with you keeping your assault rifle and hand grenades.

-Managing to get laid by feeding the girl you’re dating a steady diet of billiards and hamburgers. Not quite so simple in the real world.

-Taking one of your buddies to go and grab some fast food and being inexplicably charged like $100-$200. I mean, damn, how much did they eat? I guess they probably burn a ton of calories while running from the cops, but that’s like 50 burgers right there.