AVPR > AVPG-13?

Alien Vs Predator -Requiem
(spoilers below)

For one reason or another, we decided that it would be a good idea to catch the newly released AVPR to top off our Christmas. I've always been the selectively squeamish type (I'll pass on any eyeball violence, thanks), but there really wasn't much to get grossed out over in AVPR. They certainly didn't skimp on the violence this time around - if nothing else, the R rating was a step in the right direction - but the deaths, though they come at a somewhat alarming rate as the film hits the stretch run, are neither creative nor particularly grisly. The Aliens themselves, while undeniably iconic in the monster genre, are actually somewhat difficult to root against in a movie where the human characters are simply inane and badly acted. Some of the shortcuts taken in an attempt to make the Aliens despicable "characters" are so blatant that they end up coming off as laughable instead (it's suggested that the main Predator-Alien enjoys dining on human infants, a face-hugger gets to impregnate its first 8-year-old, etc.). And unfortunately, the only things that the Predator consistently has going for him are his plethora of toys. It's almost James Bond-ish the way that he'll break out a new gadget once or twice every movie, but his mystique has arguably been gone since the halfway point of Predator 2. Oddly enough, the movie even has a teen slasher feel to it, with subplots revolving around a pizza delivery guy, the pretty blonde that he has a crush on, and her jealous boyfriend. The blonde eventually bites the dust when she gets impaled by one of those giant ninja stars that the Predators like to carelessly toss around, which is about as close to a ballsy move as we see in the film. Of course, as teen slasher flicks generally go, we're never really given a reason to care that the blonde is alive, so spectacular impaling or not, we don't really care much that she's dead either.

Utter trash? I wouldn't go that far. It's an improvement over the first AVP, though both movies are significantly less fun than their Alien predecessors because they're set in present day. A lot of the Alien/Predator fight scenes are kind of cool, and seeing (sorta) a pack of Aliens tear through a squadron of soldiers is somewhat reminiscent of the Aliens/Marines exchanges from the second Alien flick. The Predator does have some moments as well, as he hilariously transitions from the stealthy hunter who goes around setting traps and erasing evidence to the "fuck this shit" intergalactic warrior, heedlessly firing his energy cannons at unarmed tenants and blowing up the town's power generators. The movie clearly isn't high art by any stretch of the imagination, but AVPR is semi-fun, violent, nonsensical trash. Worth a gander if you're a fan.