Wrestlemania XXVIII

Smackdown World Title: Daniel Bryan (YES! YES! YES!) vs Sheamus

This is redemption for these two guys after their US Title match got axed from last year's Wrestlemania. Sheamus kicks Bryan in the face to win the title in like 5 seconds. Okay. I understand that Vince can be a little out of touch with the fans from time to time, but did it not occur to him that some people may have bought tickets to Wrestlemania to see arguably the best wrestler in the world actually, you know, wrestle? Not doing anything for supposed babyface tough guy Sheamus either, as he apparently has to cheapshot his unsuspecting opponent to win the title.

Randy Orton vs Kane

Why not make this thing 5 seconds? Michael Cole keeps calling Orton's elevated DDT a "bulldog" which is annoying. Nothing much of note happens until Kane finishes Orton with a chokeslam off of the middle rope. Odd booking decision there. Kane bores me now, which is weird because I was really into his last run as World Champ.

Santino is eating crab legs backstage with Mick Foley and some guy from some fishing television show (I assume). This segment is not going well. Thankfully, Ron Simmons shows up and DAMNs a plate of crab right out of Santino's hands.



Intercontinental Title: Cody Rhodes vs Big Show

Apparently they're feuding because Rhodes has pointed out that Show always loses at Wrestlemania. I guess you could call him the anti-Undertaker. Not much going on here either. Finish looked like it was supposed to be Show spearing Cody out of the air, but Show ends up shoulderblocking Rhodes right in the nuts. They should seriously redo the disfigured gimmick with Cody going around with an athletic cup.

Kelly Kelly and Maria Menounos vs Beth Phoenix and Eve

Man, this show is off to a slow start. I've always wondered, does Kelly Kelly sing her own entrance theme? It's annoying as fuck. Let me also say that I have no idea who Maria Menounos is. Kelly Kelly actually breaks out the Molly-Go-Round at one point, which she should totally use as her finisher. In case anyone is keeping track, there has been an audible "Daniel Bryan" chant from the crowd at some point during every match so far. Menounos gets the pin with a rollup. Fine for a divas match, which isn't saying a whole lot nowadays.

Hell in a Cell: Undertaker vs HHH

Now we're talking. Jim Ross comes down first. Then Shawn Michaels. Then HHH. Then Taker. Then the cage gets its own entrance music. Sheesh, no wonder they had no time for Bryan/Sheamus. Not much in terms of a wrestling exhibition, but as a dramatic brawl with the theatrics turned up full blast, this one hits all the right notes. Not surprisingly, Shawn almost steals the show as the conflicted referee, torn between doing the right thing or helping his best friend. There's one fantastic Sweet Chin Music/Pedigree combo that I almost bought as a finish there, which is saying a lot since it's pretty much common knowledge that HHH had no shot at winning here. Nice little throwback to the second Taker/Shawn match, as HHH uses the last of his energy to crotch chop Taker before eating a Tombstone. This would be the fourth straight Mania classic from Undertaker, which is quite the impressive run.



They bring out the Hall of Fame inductees for a round of applause. Isn't Flair still under TNA contract? Edge looks strange without the long hair. Gotta say though, his Alter Bridge entrance music is still one of the greatest themes ever.

Team Johnny vs Team Teddy

Well. I'm glad they managed to get everyone into some match without Money in the Bank. Dolph Ziggler is wasted here. And indeed, the only thing that gets any sort of real reaction out of the crowd is Ziggler taking an insane face-fist somersault bump off of a monkey flip. Seriously, the dude sells a monkey flip like he just got pounced by Monty Brown and hit with Stan Hansen's lariat in conjunction. Anyway. Zack Ryder looks to have the match won, but Eve distracts him, allowing Miz to connect with the Skull Crushing Finale for the pin. And since that apparently isn't enough, Eve kicks Ryder in the nuts after the match. Well. I'd say that effectively sums up their relationship. And Zack Ryder's last 3 months or so.

RAW World Title: CM Punk vs Chris Jericho

Chris Jericho's jacket is fantastic. If that thing were on WWE.com, I'd certainly purchase one. At one point Cole is surprised that Punk kicks out of the Lionsault, but I think it's been like a decade since anyone's ever lost to the Lionsault. Surprisingly kind of a slow match at first, but things pick up towards the end when they start trading submissions. Jericho actually alternates between the Liontamer and the Walls of Jericho, which is a really cool touch.



He should seriously try to get both holds over as two distinctive submission moves. Sick finish with Punk countering the Walls into the Anaconda Vice. Great match, as you'd expect from these two.

Brodus Clay is here to dance. He actually brings out his dancing mother, which is about as weird as it sounds. Fun fact: Brodus Clay's entrance music was actually Ernest "The Cat" Miller's theme during his brief WWE run.



The Rock vs John Cena

The build for this match has literally been over a year long, which is pretty unheard of nowadays. There's some stuff with MGK and Flo Rida before the match, but we'll just pretend that didn't happen. Cena comes out rocking a green Celtics-inspired shirt and cap. Yeah, we get it, he's from Boston. Massive pop for the Rock, obviously. The match wasn't quite up to the lofty standards of pre-Hollywood Rock, but pretty darn good for a guy working his first singles match in nearly a decade.



I didn't think it was possible, but I think Rock's Sharpshooters are actually getting worse over time. Cena gets his beast-mode spot of the evening by rolling through Rock's top rope crossbody seamlessly into the Attitude Adjustment. Damn. When that doesn't get the job done, he makes the mistake of trying the People's Elbow, which allows Rock to pop up and hit the Rock Bottom for the pin. Not the guy I would have put over, but I guess they're expecting Rock back at some point before next year's Wrestlemania.

Slow out of the gates, but a pretty good show overall. The Daniel Bryan/Sheamus mess was a big misstep, but they may have inadvertently turned Bryan into a bigger star as a result. Worth checking out for Punk/Jericho, Rock/Cena, and Taker/HHH.

WM Weekend

The card is looking fantastic and with rumors of Big Dave and Brock Lesnar in town, it's sure to be an eventful Mania. I'll try and track the show down and have some thoughts up by midweek.

=)

Not sure if anybody still follows this thing, but I'll be permanently moving all of my sneaker, fashion, and video game talk over to my tumblr. You can check out my thoughts on Final Fantasy XIII-2 (among other things) there:

http://arqinnovations.tumblr.com/

Join & follow. And while you're at it, check out my modest little photo blog, still a work in progress:

http://arqindustries.tumblr.com/

Blogger has been fantastic to me, but you'll find most of my musings and activity elsewhere, for now. I'll still keep this blog alive and check in every once in a while to review the occasional wrestling ppv. Peace.

That Doesn't Seem Right...

Tekken Hybrid

US release date: November 22, 2011
JP release date: December 1, 2011

US MSRP: $39.99
JP MSRP: ￥7140



I'm as big of a Yamashita Shunya fan as the next guy - not to mention a Xiaoyu user - but I'm not sure if the slipcover warrants that type of a price disparity.

Survivor Series 2011

About a week late, but I tracked this puppy down after hearing positive things about it. Of course, this year's Survivor Series is notable because it features the Rock in his first in-ring action in roughly 7 years. This show also apparently marks the 10th anniversary of John Laurinaitis' tenure with the company. Michael Cole: "ALLRIIIIGHT!" I guess he's a fan of John Laurinaitis? We kick things off with Zig-Zag Man (as Booker T likes to call him) and the soon to be released John Morrison.

United States Title: Dolph Ziggler vs John Morrison

A pretty massive "We want Ryder!" chant from the fans to start. The crowd boos everything that Morrisson does - because he isn't Zack Ryder, I guess - but he gets some cheers after whipping out a corkscrew plancha. Vickie Guerrero drops by to scream incomprehensibly at Morrison. John: "Hey, stay away from me!" Not sure if he was breaking character there or not. Ziggler eventually takes over and begins toying around with Morrison. Vickie: "AHAHAHAHAHAHA!" Morrison makes the comeback with the Moonlight Drive, which is apparently just a "neckbreaker" now. Vickie gets sent to the back for getting a little too involved, and she is not happy. To say the least. The boys go into a slick pinfall reversal sequence that ends with Ziggler getting a sweet Fame-Asser for a close 2. Yes, Ziggler is so awesome that he can even make Billy Gunn's moves look good. Dolph eventually gets the 3 after blocking Starship Pain and hitting the Zig-Zag. Hot opener. It's pretty crazy how good Dolph Ziggler is getting. He would go on to tear the house down with CM Punk the next night on RAW, and have another good outing with Randy Orton a week later.

Crowd still wants Ryder, and indeed, he shows up to a pretty massive pop. He hits the Rough Ryder, which Dolph sells by flipping completely over and flying out of the ring.

Divas Championship: Beth Phoenix vs Eve

ZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzTOPROPEGLAMSLAM!

Wade Barrett, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, Hunico, & Cody Rhodes vs Sheamus, Sin Cara, Kofi Kingston, Mason Ryan, & Randy Orton

Hunico is now dressed exactly like Homicide. If you're a wrestler of Mexican origin, I guess you have to be either lucha or gangster. Cody Rhodes gets a pretty big pop despite being a heel, probably because he rules. Sweet retro IC title, too. You know, I'm pretty sure I once watched a porn that featured Sin Cara's music. Just saying. This Mason Ryan guy can't be real. He has more muscles than a Ninja Turtle. Or a Rob Liefeld illustration. I kid you not, this is the look on Jack Swagger's face as Mason Ryan makes his entrance:



Ziggler takes an RKO and is eliminated first, which is understandable since he's pulling double duty tonight. Match breaks down and Sin Cara and Kofi Kingston do stereo dives to the floor. Well, they do in theory, except that Sin Cara somehow injures himself mid-air and manages to eliminate himself from the match. As advertised before his debut, Sin Cara is indeed amazing, albeit for all the wrong reasons. No idea what happened there. Note: there was much speculation following the show in regards to how Cara could have possibly injured himself so severely on that dive, but most have come to an agreement that this official WWE Sin Cara t-shirt best explains what went awry.



Yes, Sin Cara's MASSIVE ERECTION got caught in the ropes, which is why he's now out of action for 9 months. Get well soon, Sin Cara. And yes, that is an actual t-shirt that was apparently very close to being sold at WWE events worldwide. I guess someone with eyeballs managed to spot the GIANT PENIS on the design before it went into mass production.

Things come to a halt momentarily, as everyone regroups and tries to figure out what to do since Sin Cara has legitimately injured himself. Mason Ryan tosses Hunico around for a bit, but Cody eliminates him with the Beautiful Disaster and the Cross Rhodes. Crowd chants for Cody after that. Smart people. Speaking of Cody, he has kneepads now. Odd. Did he sell his mask and purchase those? Kofi goes next after getting hit with Barrett's Wasteland. I like Barrett, but his finisher is still pretty lame. Now Sheamus comes in, and he's incredibly angry. Perhaps because Sin Cara has more size than he does, but more likely because his Survivor Series team sucks. He starts killing cats and ends up getting disqualified for kicking too much ass. Well, I suppose that's one way to eliminate the guy without having him eat a pin. Sheamus takes out Swagger with the pump kick on his way out, which allows Orton to make it 3 vs 1. So we have Randy Orton vs Wade Barrett, Cody Rhodes, and Hunico. One of these things is not like the other. Hunico apparently senses this, so he busts out a Springboard-Diving-Face-Into-Your-RKO on Orton. Glad he can take a hint. Hey, now that standard Sin Cara is on the shelf for a while, would it hurt to put the mask on Hunico and bring back Sin Cara Negro? He was actually pretty badass. Anyway, Orton holds his own for a while, but Barrett catches him with a Wasteland to give his team the win. Is it me, or has Orton been laying down for everyone after Mark Henry took his title?

World Title: Mark Henry vs Big Show

Crowd chants "Sexual Chocolate" at Mizark. Show is now calling his punch the WMD. Ever wonder why he never just punches guys in the face right at the start of the match? I mean, everyone else does it. The crowd is now chanting "D'Lo Brown". This Madison Square Garden crowd is pretty awesome. The match isn't Angle/Benoit or anything, but both guys work hard. Show kicks out of a World's Strongest Slam, so Mark spears him through the barricade on the outside. Always a cool looking spot, but not enough to get the 10 count for Henry. Not sure if it was that spear through the barricade, but Show thinks he's Macho Man when he gets back to the ring and starts climbing the turnbuckle. He manages to make it to the top and takes half the ppv to get his balance, but eventually comes off with a BIG elbow drop. For two. Mizark gets desperate and unleashes the World's Strongest Kick right to Show's Weapon of Mass Destruction. That's a disqualification, so Show wins while Henry retains the title. Mark Henry ends up getting his leg destroyed by Show after the match, I guess because Big Show isn't a fan of getting his nuts crushed.

WWE Title: Alberto Del Rio vs CM Punk

Punk brings out Howard Finkel as his guest ring announcer to counter Ricardo Rodriguez. Funny bit as Punk is all "Dude, WTF?" after Fink takes an eternity to introduce him. IT'S CLOBBERING TIME! When did Punk start using Mongolian chops? That's going to take a bit to get used to. Great match, as you'd expect from these two. Del Rio keeps working the arm, and Punk keeps going for the GTS, but to no avail. Punk eventually gets caught in the rolling armbreaker, but the crowd chants his name and pops big when he finally makes the ropes. See, that tells you two things: 1) as simple as it is, the crowd really buys Del Rio's cross armbreaker as a dangerous submission hold, and 2) CM Punk is so over (at least with the New York crowd) that the people will chant for him to break said submission hold. Aside from the kids chanting for Cena, you really don't see enough of that nowadays. Not to be outdone, Punk comes back with the Anaconda Vice. Del Rio does an awesome sell of the hold, ripping at Punks face in his attempt to escape, but taps clean to give Punk the title. Good stuff.

John Cena & The Rock vs The Awesome Truth

Rocky is absolutely ripped. He takes the Miz and R-Truth down with armdrags, then breaks out a gorgeous la magistral cradle. The crowd goes crazy for that. Crowd: "You still got it!" Indeed. Truth wants in, and he ends up taking a nice fisherman suplex, perfect bridge and all. Not to knock HHH, because I like him as a wrestler, but HHH takes half a year off, and all he brings to his match with CM Punk are punches and a half dozen Pedigrees. The Rock takes 7 years off, and he comes back with new moves in his arsenal. Rocky "tags" Cena in, and Cena finishes a snapmare sequence with a monkeyflip and a dropkick. MSG: "You still suck!" Tough crowd. Miz and Truth eventually take over on Cena, while Rock paces around on the apron. R-Truth, probably feeling the need to add unnecessary theatrics to simple moves with the Rock and John Cena around, does the splits, spins, dances around, then drops a leg on Cena. Booker: "Ah, ah, lookatdatboy, lookatboy get wicked, ahhhhhhhhhhh, haha, R-Truth, R-Truth get wicked baby!" Clearly, Booker needs to be calling more R-Truth matches. Little kid in the crowd: "Truth, I love you!" Truth: "TAKE THAT LITTLE JIMMY!" It's too bad Truth got suspended following the show, because he was really on the roll of his career here. Anyway, Cena gets the crap beat out of him for a while, until Truth tries another one of his dancing legdrops. Booker: "Ohhhhh, this boy gon do it again, there he go, a little rockin', ohohohohoho!" It unfortunately misses, allowing Rocky to get the hot tag and clean house. He gets the least electrifying Sharpshooter in sports entertainment on Miz, probably to let everyone know that nobody's perfect. Truth saves, which allows Miz to act like a dick for a while, before a spinebuster and a People's Elbow finishes things. John Cena spent virtually the entire match getting beat up, but this was more of a showcase for the Rock, who certainly didn't disappoint.

Cena tries to slink off after the match and give Rock the spotlight, but Rocky calls him back to the ring. He has Cena play to the crowd in the corner, then he climbs the opposite corner to show Cena who the crowd likes better. They do this TWICE, and Cena looks like a doofus for playing along.



Cena tries to leave again, but the Rock gives him the Rock Bottom to really punk him out. Geez. Even Sin Cara came out of this show looking better than John Cena. They're going to need Cena to snap and beat the hell out of the Rock at least once before Mania, because his character just has zero edge at this point. I mean, we get it, Cena is a good guy, but that last segment was pretty much a commercial for the WWE's anti-bullying campaign with Cena as the victim.

Black Cement III

No words. Just emotions.

SC Air Penny 2